Alright, folks, big news in the world of “Holy crap, are we still dealing with this guy?” Donald Trump just got smacked down by none other than Chief Justice John Roberts. And not in the fun way, not in the “Oops, I slipped in the shower, call me later” way. No, this was a full-blown constitutional pimp slap. The kind that leaves a red handprint and a vague sense of shame.
So what happened? Oh, you know, Trump did what Trump does best—lost in court, got mad, and started yelling incoherently on social media like your uncle after three Bud Lights at Thanksgiving. This time, he was trying to use the Alien Enemies Act—a law from 1798—to kick out Venezuelan migrants. That’s right. 1798. A time when people still thought leeches were cutting-edge medicine and the biggest political scandal was Alexander Hamilton rapping his way into an affair.
And when a judge—an actual, functioning adult in a robe—told him, “Yeah, that’s not how the law works,” Trump’s response was totally normal and rational.
Just kidding.
He screamed, “Radical Left Lunatic!” and—wait for it—called for the judge’s impeachment.
Yes. Impeachment. For making a ruling. The same way you’d fire a waiter for bringing you exactly what you ordered.
Because in Trump’s mind, every job works like The Apprentice. Bad ruling? You’re fired! Annoying journalist? You’re fired! Democracy? Eh, let’s fire that too!
And then, from on high, like Zeus himself descending from Mount Olympus—except instead of a lightning bolt, he’s holding a very strongly worded legal brief—John Roberts swoops in and goes, “Okay, dude, let’s pump the brakes on the crazy.”
Now, let’s be real. Roberts is not the type to step in often. If Chief Justices were on Twitter, Roberts would be that guy who only posts once every three years, and it’s just:
“NO.”
But this time, he spoke up, reminding everyone that impeachment is not some big red “Oops, I Don’t Like That” button you can press whenever the law doesn’t go your way.
And here’s the fun part—if this thing actually makes it to the Supreme Court? Oh boy.
Because let’s just say that history is not kind to presidents who get smacked down by the Chief Justice.
Presidents Who Got Steamrolled by the Supreme Court
(Aka, people who should’ve read the instructions before using democracy.)
John Marshall vs. Thomas Jefferson (1803) – The Original “Sit Down, Mr. President”
Jefferson tried to ignore some judicial appointments left by his predecessor. John Marshall, aka The Godfather of the Supreme Court, hit him with Marbury v. Madison, the case that established judicial review, which is basically the Supreme Court saying, “Oh, you thought we were just here for decoration? Adorable.”
Jefferson was pissed, but history remembers him as “the guy who lost.”
Roger Taney vs. Abraham Lincoln (1861) – Even Honest Abe Got Checked
Now, here’s one you don’t hear often: Lincoln—the guy we like—suspended habeas corpus so he could arrest people without trials. Roger Taney—who, let’s be honest, had the moral compass of a broken Roomba—still had to tell Lincoln, “Yeah, you can’t do that.”
Lincoln’s response? “Cool story, I’m doing it anyway.”
But the point remains: Even Lincoln had to deal with a Chief Justice going, “Nope.”
Charles Evans Hughes vs. Franklin D. Roosevelt (1937) – “Packing the Court? I Don’t Think So.”
FDR was tired of the Court striking down his New Deal programs, so he tried to add more justices like some dude trying to stack his fantasy football team.
But Hughes saw through that plan like an old man spotting a scam at the poker table. He smacked FDR down so hard that even Congress went, “Yeah, uh… no.”
Warren Burger vs. Richard Nixon (1974) – “Nice Try, Tricky Dick”
Watergate. The missing tapes. Nixon tried to pull the old, Executive Privilege Means I Don’t Have to Listen to You move.
And the Supreme Court—unanimously—was like, “Hand ‘em over, Dick.”
Sixteen days later, Nixon resigned.
So, What’s the Lesson for Trump?
If the Supreme Court has to get involved in shutting down a president’s nonsense, it never ends well for the president.
John Roberts didn’t speak up just because he felt like it. He’s basically giving Trump a preemptive warning:
“Hey, man, don’t bring this nonsense to my court, because if you do, you’re gonna lose. Big time.”
And here’s the thing—Roberts is not some radical leftist. He’s not out there in a Che Guevara T-shirt, reading Marx and sipping a soy latte. If anything, he’s the guy at the party quietly holding his drink while everyone else yells at each other.
So when he speaks up? That’s when you know shit’s serious.
What Can the Courts Actually Do About an Out-of-Control President?
(Besides collectively sigh in exhaustion.)
- Injunctions – The legal equivalent of a bouncer saying, “Sorry, you’re not on the list.”
Declaring Actions Unconstitutional – The Supreme Court’s way of ejecting you from the game. - Holding Officials in Contempt – The legal version of “Oh, you wanna keep pushing it? Fine, enjoy your fines… or jail.”
- The Long Game – Just ask Nixon how well “trying to stall the courts” worked out for him.
Fun fact: The courts do not lose these fights. Ever.
Bottom Line? Trump’s Screwed
John Roberts doesn’t like making a scene. He’s a quiet guy. The kind of guy who clears his throat before he ruins your entire legal strategy.
And when a Chief Justice tells a president, “Hey, buddy, maybe stop treating the Constitution like a gas station scratch-off ticket?”—history tells us that president is about to lose.
So if Trump thinks he can bully the Supreme Court, he’s about to get hit with the judicial equivalent of a folding chair to the face.
Because, Donny? This isn’t The Apprentice. And this time, you’re not the one dealing the cards.
