Alright, so apparently, we’re just done pretending laws apply to presidents now. That’s it! Pack it up, folks. The whole “nobody is above the law” thing? Turns out, that was just some feel-good nonsense they told us in school, like how George Washington couldn’t tell a lie, or that if you work hard, you’ll get rich.
Because this guy—this dude who already dodged impeachment twice, got indicted four times, and basically treated classified documents like they were takeout menus—he’s now saying it’s not even illegal if he’s “saving the country.” Oh, my bad! I didn’t realize that’s how crime works! You just say it’s for the greater good, and BOOM—no consequences. Fantastic. That’s gotta be great news for all the people in prison right now. “Yo, I wasn’t robbing that bank! I was saving the economy!”
And it gets better—because the Supreme Court, these geniuses in their fancy robes, basically handed him a free pass last year. They actually ruled that presidents might have presumptive immunity from prosecution if their crimes—oh, sorry, their “actions”—were part of their official duties. Yeah, yeah, sure. Because every job has some light treason built into it. You work at Starbucks? Maybe you pocket a couple of cake pops, fine. But if you’re president? Well, apparently, you can stage a coup, hoard nuclear secrets, and threaten to jail your enemies as long as you slap an “official duties” sticker on it.
Seriously, where does this end? Can the president now just commit any crime as long as he says, “Nah, I was doing it for the country?” Can he steal a car? “National security, baby!” Can he punt a kid into traffic? “Sorry, but I saw a terrorist behind him!” What are we doing?!
And the best part? This is the same guy who can’t go five minutes without screaming about how lawless everybody else is. Immigrants! Protesters! The deep state! Oh, but when he does something illegal, it’s “patriotism.” It’s “for the people.” You gotta love that logic. That’s like a guy cheating on his wife and being like, “Babe, this wasn’t infidelity, this was an American rescue mission!”
This is not how democracy works! We don’t just give a guy permission to break the law because he says it’s for our own good. That’s what dictators do! You know who else thought they were “saving their country?” Every tyrant in history. But sure, let’s just take his word for it. Nothing bad will come from that, right?
And you know what’s crazy? We have rules for this! They’re literally written down! But now, suddenly, they don’t apply if you’re the right guy with the right amount of power? That’s it? That’s the new standard? If you tell the Supreme Court, “I felt like I had to commit this crime,” they just let you off with a wink and a handshake?
This is how you break a country, man. Not with some big dramatic invasion or an asteroid or whatever—we do it the dumbest way possible. By letting one dude say, “Nah, I’m allowed to do crime. It’s freedom crime!” And then we believe him. Jesus Christ, we deserve whatever happens next.
