You ever wake up after a night of celebrating the new year, ready to tackle those resolutions, and instead, you’re hit with this? The country goes full-on chaos mode, and everyone’s just trying to figure out what the hell happened while nursing a hangover. Let’s break it down, because apparently, 2025 didn’t get the memo that it was supposed to start fresh.
New Orleans: Bourbon Street Bloodbath
First, we’ve got New Orleans. Bourbon Street. A place where you’re supposed to drink, flash strangers, and maybe regret your life choices—not die. But nope, here comes this guy, Shamsud-Din Bahar Jabbar, barreling through the crowd in a rented F-150 like he’s auditioning for the world’s most violent monster truck rally. Fifteen dead, 35 injured, and when the dust settles, we find out he’s an Army vet with ISIS ties. ISIS ties! What year is this? The guy even leaves an ISIS flag in the truck like it’s a receipt.
And what was the plan here? “Yeah, I’ll just mow down some people, whip out a gun, and hope for the best?” Spoiler alert: The best didn’t happen. The cops took him out. End of story. Or at least it should’ve been. But no, because we weren’t done with the crazy yet.
Las Vegas: Cybertruck Carnage
Meanwhile, over in Vegas, we’ve got Matthew Livelsberger. A Green Beret, active duty, stationed in Germany. This guy’s supposed to be one of our most disciplined and skilled soldiers. Instead, he comes to America on leave, rents a Tesla Cybertruck, fills it with gas canisters and fireworks—because why blow up one thing when you can make it festive—drives to the Trump International Hotel, and… shoots himself before the whole thing goes boom.
What even was the thought process here? “Oh, I’ll just do some light terrorism before I clock out.” Who does that? And the media—oh, the media—they’re all like, “It was a car fire.” A CAR FIRE?! Are you kidding me? My toaster catches fire faster than that truck exploded. And it wasn’t just some random accident! This dude was out here playing Die Hard while the rest of us were just trying to survive New Year’s Day brunch.
Shared Threads: Or Are They?
And here’s the kicker—they both served at Fort Bragg. What are we supposed to think? Is this some kind of bizarre, veteran horror show? But don’t worry, the FBI says there’s no definitive link. Oh, cool! Because it’s not like these guys had the exact same military background and rented their cars from the same app. Nah, nothing to see here, folks.
Media Madness
And the media? Forget about it. First, it’s “a car fire.” Then it’s “terrorism.” Then it’s “we’re not sure.” By the time they figure it out, we’ve all moved on because we’re too confused to care anymore. They’ve got the attention span of a toddler hyped up on sugar, and we’re the ones paying the price for it.
Bigger Questions
So here we are. Was this a warning? A coincidence? A new chapter in the never-ending saga of American insanity? Who knows! What I do know is that terrorism apparently never left—it just got more creative. And as we roll into 2025, we’re left wondering if this is the kind of “new normal” we’re supposed to expect.
Because if it is? Someone better start handing out medals for just making it through the day.
