Alright, folks, let’s talk about distress signals. You know, back in 1904, some genius sat down and said, “Hey, we need a way to tell everyone our ship is about to go belly up.” So they came up with CQD. I mean, CQD sounds like a code you’d use to order a ham sandwich at a deli. “Yeah, can I get a CQD on rye, hold the mustard?”
And the “D” stood for distress! No kidding. Real imaginative. But here’s the kicker—CQ was already in use to mean, “Hey, everybody, listen up!” So basically, CQD was like yelling, “Help!” in a crowd, and everyone’s like, “Wait, are you in trouble, or are you just calling the meeting to order?”
Two years later, they’re like, “Okay, this isn’t working. We need something that actually says, ‘Oh crap, we’re sinking.'” And they come up with SOS. Three dots, three dashes, three dots. Clean. Simple. You don’t have to explain it. It’s the “WE’RE SCREWED” of Morse code.
And here’s the kicker—some people were still stuck on CQD, even after SOS was a thing. The Titanic, right? They’re going down, and the guy’s on the radio like, “CQD! CQD!” And then he’s like, “Oh, yeah, maybe we should try that new thing. SOS!” Talk about multitasking under pressure.
Now, here’s where it gets funny—not funny ha-ha, funny like, “What the hell are we doing?” Look at this country right now. We’re like the Titanic, arguing over whether to send out CQD or SOS while the water’s already at our ankles. We’re on fire, sinking, and fighting over who gets to scream into the microphone first. “Save us! But only if you’re on my team!”
And SOS, man, it’s perfect for today. Simple. No confusion. “Save Our Ship!” And let’s be honest, this ship is a wreck. The captain’s drunk, the crew’s fighting over who gets to wear the hat, and half the passengers are busy live-streaming the iceberg crash instead of rowing the lifeboats.
So here’s my pitch: We bring back SOS, but for everything. Your Wi-Fi goes down? SOS! Your favorite show gets canceled? SOS! Democracy teetering on the edge? Massive SOS! Somebody grab a flare gun and let the world know we’re up to our eyeballs in water and BS.
Look, CQD had its run, but SOS? That’s timeless. It’s what we need now more than ever. Just don’t be the guy fiddling with the old signal while the ship goes down. Get with the program, send the damn SOS, and let’s figure out how to plug the holes in this ship before we’re all swimming with the sharks.
