You know what’s wild? On February 1, we celebrate the founding of the Voice of America, a U.S. government-funded broadcasting outfit that’s been shouting into the void since World War II. Their tagline should’ve been, “We’re here to tell you what’s up, but only if you’re not American.” Seriously, this thing broadcasts in 48 languages. That’s more languages than I can count on my fingers and toes. But here’s the kicker: their whole audience is outside the U.S. They’re like, “Hey, world, here’s some news about America! But Americans? Nah, they don’t need to hear it. They’ve got cable.”
Let me break it down for you. This whole thing started as a way to fight Nazi propaganda. I get that—good cause, right? “The news may be good. The news may be bad. We shall tell you the truth.” A noble idea, sure, but come on. If you’re funded by Uncle Sam, are you really gonna tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth? Or are you gonna sprinkle in a little red, white, and blue fairy dust? “America: Home of the Free, Land of the Brave, and Don’t Look Too Closely.”
Fast forward to today, and these guys are pulling in a global audience of 354 million people every week. That’s insane! Do you know how many people that is? That’s like every man, woman, and child in the U.S. tuning in… plus some folks we probably owe money to. But here’s the twist: it’s all paid for by the government. They’re like, “Hey, world, check out this totally independent, not-at-all-biased content we’re beaming into your living rooms. Trust us. Pinky swear.”
And let’s talk about the leadership. Who’s running this operation? Oh, just whoever’s sitting in the big chair in the White House at the time. It’s like when your boss decides to DJ at the office holiday party. You think you’re getting “Don’t Stop Believin’,” but instead, it’s their weird Spotify playlist of yacht rock and funeral dirges. Recently, there was talk about someone like Kari Lake taking the helm. Yeah, because what we need is a little more Fox News energy in our international broadcasts. Great idea.
This isn’t new, by the way. During the Cold War, VOA was sending messages behind the Iron Curtain like, “Hey, comrades, your government sucks, and ours is great. Also, here’s some jazz music.” You know, the subtle approach. They’ve been walking this tightrope for decades—balancing journalism and propaganda like a drunk guy on a unicycle. And we’re just supposed to nod along like this is fine?
So here we are, celebrating VOA’s birthday. Happy anniversary, I guess. Let’s all raise a glass to the world’s most elaborate, multilingual PR campaign. Because if there’s one thing the rest of the world needed, it was America saying, “Let us explain how awesome we are… in your native tongue.”
