So picture this—you’re on a plane, right? It’s January 15, 2009. Cold as hell. You’re flying out of LaGuardia. You’re just trying to get to Charlotte. Maybe see some family, maybe hit up a barbecue, whatever. Two minutes after takeoff, BOOM—Canada geese. Not one goose. Not two geese. A whole flock of those honking jerks flies right into the engines. Now your nice, smooth flight turns into a rollercoaster ride from hell.
The engines? Dead. Both of them. And there you are, sitting in row 18B, wondering if you should’ve paid the extra $30 for that travel insurance. The plane’s losing altitude, fast. But up in the cockpit? Oh, it’s game time. Captain Chesley “Sully” Sullenberger’s up there like, “Alright, let’s not freak out.” And his co-pilot, Jeffrey Skiles? Probably sitting there like, “Oh my God, I just wanted to fly to Charlotte today. What the hell is this?”
Now, Sully’s looking at his options. Could he turn the plane around? Head back to LaGuardia? Sure, if he’s Superman and this plane’s made of vibranium. But no, this is real life. Teterboro Airport? Too far. And honestly, who wants to land in New Jersey unless you absolutely have to? Sully’s like, “You know what? Let’s put this thing in the Hudson River.”
The Hudson River. The place where they pull mob cars out of. A river so dirty it might actually kill the geese that caused this mess. And yet, Sully makes it work. The guy pulls off the smoothest water landing in aviation history. It’s like he’s parallel parking a school bus on a sheet of ice—just nails it. Plane comes down, skims the water, no big fiery explosion. Everybody gets out alive. Miracle, right? They even call it the “Miracle on the Hudson.”
But wait—because this is America, and we can’t let anything good go uncriticized—here come the investigators. The National Transportation Safety Board’s like, “Well, according to our little video game simulations, Sully could’ve made it back to the airport.” Oh yeah, real easy to say when you’re playing flight simulator in your sweatpants, isn’t it? Meanwhile, Sully’s up there with 155 people and no engines, trying not to turn the Hudson into the Titanic 2.0.
Of course, the NTSB eventually realizes, “Oh wait, this guy actually did the best thing possible.” They confirm that Sully’s decision to ditch in the Hudson saved every single life on that plane. The guy’s vindicated. He’s a hero. He’s on talk shows, shaking hands with Oprah, probably got a few free drinks at the airport bar. And he deserves every bit of it.
Now the plane? It’s in a museum in Charlotte. People go to see it, like, “Wow, look at this. The plane that landed in the Hudson.” Meanwhile, I’m sitting here thinking, “Where’s the monument for the Canada geese? You know, the ones who died for this to even be a story?”
Sully summed it up best. He said, “For 42 years, I’ve been making small deposits in this bank of experience, and on January 15, I made a big withdrawal.” And I’m like, “Yeah, man, you cashed out like a champ. And the rest of us? We just sat there with our peanuts and prayed.”
So next time you’re on a flight and they ask you to watch that safety video, pay attention. Because you never know when your pilot might need to channel their inner Sully and land you on a river. Or worse, New Jersey.
