So picture this: it’s February 5, 1917, and Congress decides to pull a real power move. They pass this thing called the Immigration Act of 1917, even though President Woodrow Wilson vetoed it. That’s right—Congress was like, “Nah, Woody, we got this,” and they shoved this thing through anyway. And what did this Act do? Oh, just casually told an entire chunk of the planet, “Hey, don’t bother packing your bags, because you’re not welcome here.”
The Act had two big moves. First, it introduced a literacy test for immigrants over 16 years old. Yeah, because apparently knowing how to read was the secret sauce for fitting into America. Forget hard work or dreams—just show us you can read a menu, and we’ll let you in. Then, they created something called the “Asiatic Barred Zone.” Sounds like a fancy name for a nightclub, right? Nope. It was basically a “Do Not Enter” sign slapped on a map from the Middle East all the way to Southeast Asia. The message was clear: “Thanks, but no thanks.”
Here’s the kicker: this wasn’t about national security or any high-minded reason. It was straight-up about keeping out people they didn’t like. Southern Europeans, Eastern Europeans, Asians—basically anyone who didn’t look like they just walked off a Norman Rockwell painting. America was like a really bad party host, standing at the door saying, “Nope, nope, definitely not you. Next!”
Fast forward to today, and you’d think we’d have grown out of this nonsense. But no! Immigration is still a hot topic, and the rhetoric has just gotten louder and dumber. One side is yelling, “Build the wall!” while the other side’s like, “Can we at least have a ladder on hand? Maybe a rope? Something?” The debates haven’t evolved—they’ve just been rebranded. And don’t even get me started on the mass deportation talk. It’s like someone looked at the worst idea in history and said, “You know what? Let’s do more of that.”
Then there’s the whole “anchor babies” argument. Some politicians out here trying to convince us that babies born in America to undocumented parents are secret masterminds. Like these tiny, diaper-wearing geniuses are filing paperwork and hatching schemes to game the system. Meanwhile, the rest of us are just trying to remember if we left the stove on.
And the best part? This whole debate is still driven by fear—fear of change, fear of difference, fear that someone might show up with a better work ethic and take your spot. People are clinging to the past like it’s a pair of their favorite old jeans that don’t fit anymore. Newsflash: the world’s moved on, and those jeans? They’re not coming back in style.
So yeah, the Immigration Act of 1917 was basically America’s first big “No Vacancy” sign. And here we are, over a century later, still arguing about who gets to come to the party. You’d think we’d have learned by now, but nope. Same argument, new century, and the punchline? It’s still on us.
