So, here’s a fun one for you: January 24, 1916. That’s the day the Supreme Court of the United States decided—brace yourselves—that income tax is actually constitutional. Yeah, they finally settled it after years of people going, “Wait, you want me to give you part of my money? You? The government? Hilarious!”
Early Days: Tariffs, Whiskey, and Whoops
Let’s back up. Way back in the early days of America, the government was like a broke roommate who only paid rent by stealing from your snack stash—tariffs and excise taxes. Mostly on stuff like whiskey. Because if there’s one thing that says “freedom,” it’s taxing people for their booze.
Then came the Civil War. And Abraham Lincoln, honest guy that he was, looked around and said, “Hey, maybe we should try this crazy thing called an income tax. You know, tax people based on how much money they have instead of how many drinks they’ve had.” And for a hot second, it worked. They slapped a 3% tax on people making over $600 a year. Sounds cute now, right? “Oh, I’ll just pay with this check I found under my couch cushions.”
But, of course, that tax didn’t stick. By 1872, the government decided, “Eh, we don’t need it anymore,” like a bad diet plan. Back to chugging whiskey and dodging tariffs.
The Supreme Court: Income Tax? Not in My Constitution!
Fast forward to the Gilded Age, where rich dudes with mustaches were hoarding money like it was going out of style. Congress said, “Alright, time for round two,” and passed an income tax in 1894. But the Supreme Court was like, “Whoa, whoa, whoa—tax the rich? That’s unconstitutional!” Enter the 1895 Pollock decision, which basically said, “You can’t tax income unless you’re ready to play a game of population-based Jenga with the states.”
So, what do you do when the Supreme Court throws out your income tax? You rewrite the Constitution. Like a boss. In 1913, the Sixteenth Amendment rolled in, saying, “We can tax income now, deal with it.” And the rich guys were like, “Oh no, not my fourth yacht!”
Enter Brushaber: The Court Finally Says “Yeah, Okay”
Now, even with the Sixteenth Amendment, people were still mad about income taxes. Because people hate taxes. That’s just science. Along comes Frank R. Brushaber, who’s all, “I own stock in Union Pacific Railroad, and this income tax thing is unconstitutional!” Dude took his case to the Supreme Court. Bold move, Frank.
And on January 24, 1916, the Supreme Court came back with the legal equivalent of, “Sit down, Frank.” They said the Sixteenth Amendment was pretty clear: the government can absolutely tax income. Frank lost, and America gained… well, the IRS. Mixed bag, really.
The Legacy: Thanks, I Guess?
So here we are, over a century later, still grumbling about taxes every April. But let’s give some credit where it’s due. Without income tax, who would fund our highways? Our schools? That one senator’s lifetime supply of gourmet peanuts? Exactly.
So, cheers to January 24, the day the Supreme Court said, “Yes, Uncle Sam can take your money, and no, you can’t do anything about it.” And let’s be honest—what’s more American than that?
