You ever meet someone who seems sodumb, they make you question how they even tie their shoes in the morning? Well, this week’s Skidmark of the Week goes to Representative Mike Collins of Georgia. Because when you’re out here calling for the deportation of a U.S. citizen, that’s not just dumb—it’s dumb on steroids. It’s like trying to evict your own roommate because you don’t like how they chew. Spoiler alert: they live there.
You’ve heard this story, but as a reminder, here’s the setup: the Right Reverend Mariann Edgar Budde, an Episcopal bishop, gets up at the National Cathedral and does what bishops are supposed to do—she calls for compassion. Mercy. Basic decency. You know, radical stuff. She asks President Trump to show kindness to the scared and marginalized. Which, if you’ve seen Trump, is like asking a bear to hug a salmon—it’s not happening, and you probably made it angrier.
Trump, of course, couldn’t let it go. He called her a “Radical Left hard line Trump hater” and said the service was “very boring.” Because if there’s one thing Trump can’t stand, it’s a boring church service. You know, the man who’s been to church maybe twice, and one of those times was probably for a free buffet.
But here’s where it gets good—like Florida-man-headlines good. Rep. Mike Collins hears this and thinks, “You know what? I can one-up this crazy.” So he says we should put Bishop Budde on the deportation list. Let me repeat that for the folks in the back: deport. A. U.S. citizen. That’s right, the guy who’s supposed to make laws doesn’t know the basic rules of being American.
Newsflash, Mike: you can’t deport U.S. citizens. That’s not a thing. That’s like saying, “Hey, I don’t like my neighbor’s Christmas lights—let’s launch him into space.” And the wildest part? This guy’s a Congressman! A Congressman! His job is literally to understand how this country works. And yet here he is, thinking ICE agents are just gonna pull up like, “Pack your bags, Reverend, you’re going to… uh, Vermont?”
But let’s give Collins some credit. It takes real talent to make Donald Trump look like the reasonable one in the room. “Deport the bishop?” Really? What’s next, Mike? Gonna revoke someone’s citizenship because they cut in line at the DMV? Start airlifting people to Canada because they don’t like sweet tea?
And let’s not forget the cherry on this dumpster fire sundae: Collins doesn’t just embarrass himself. Oh no. This kind of rhetoric makes all Americans look bad. Because now, somewhere out there, a foreign leader is watching this and going, “Wait… the U.S. deports their own citizens? Maybe we shouldn’t take advice from these guys.”
So congrats, Rep. Collins. You’ve turned the sacred art of roasting into public policy, and that’s why you’re this week’s Skidmark of the Week. You’ve proven once again that in the game of politics, there’s always someone willing to aim lower. Way to hit rock bottom and then start digging.
