Let’s get real: CISA, the election watchdog, was supposed to be the fierce, vigilant protector of our electoral infrastructure, right? The bodyguard, the bouncer at the door of democracy, the digital attack dog who sniffs out any threat to our precious ballots. And you know what they’re doing? Looking around, shrugging, and saying, “Eh, not my problem.” When it comes to homegrown lies poisoning our election soup, they’re as vigilant as a sloth with an Ambien addiction.
Now, if this were just about foreign bad guys—those classic Bond villains meddling in our stuff—CISA’s on it. They’re up all night waving tiny American flags and shutting down foreign trolls. But here’s the kicker: if the lies are coming from right here in the good old U.S. of A? CISA’s apparently on an extended coffee break, dodging any responsibility like it’s the check at a reunion dinner.
And the complaints are bipartisan! That’s right—both parties have flagged instances of disinformation, probably waving at CISA like, “Hey, could you give us a hand over here?” But nope! CISA’s not passing the info along to social media platforms. Not putting out those public service announcements to clear things up. Nope, they’re just hanging back, giving officials little pep talks on “how to communicate better.” Oh, great—because that’s just what we needed. Tips for bureaucrats on how to “better communicate.” Maybe some mindfulness meditation, too, for when the tidal wave of lies hits Twitter. That’ll work.
Meanwhile, their website—once full of myth-busting, myth-slaying updates? About as active as a town library on the Fourth of July. Sparse updates. It’s like trying to fight a wildfire by blowing on it. Disinformation’s blazing across the internet, and what’s CISA doing? Waiting until Monday to get around to it, probably muttering, “Yeah, we’ll post an update sometime soon… probably.”
But here’s the thing: this isn’t just a “boo-hoo, mean words” situation; this is national security. The “maybe we should take it seriously” kind of problem. We’re talking about disinformation—the kind that makes people believe every conspiracy theory under the sun and erodes trust in democracy faster than a sandcastle in a hurricane. This isn’t about policing speech; it’s about telling people, “Hey, don’t drink the Kool-Aid.” Yet CISA’s out here acting like they’ve got no dog in this fight. Not our job, they say.
The FBI, on the other hand, has recognized that domestic disinformation can lead to violence and has taken some steps to deal with it. But CISA? Nah. Apparently, CISA is like, “Eh, you do you. We’ll just keep an eye on Russia or Iran while you guys battle it out amongst yourselves. You got this!”
As we edge toward another election, the stakes couldn’t be higher. Our election process depends not just on secure voting systems, but on people not believing every piece of garbage they read online. CISA’s current approach is like a firefighter who looks at flames in their own house and says, “Yeah, let’s just focus on the neighbor’s fire. Ours is fine. Toasty.”
So here’s the deal: CISA, if you’re listening, get it together. Protect our elections, foreign and domestic. This half-in, half-out routine is a joke, and not the good kind. The stakes are too high for you to be a part-time defender. We need full-time vigilance, because right now, you’re about as useful as a screen door on a submarine. Come on, CISA, pick up a hose and start fighting the fire. We’re counting on you, whether you like it or not.
