Alright, buckle up, because this year’s hurricane season isn’t just bringing high winds—it’s brought a torrent of conspiracy theories that would make even your most gullible uncle raise an eyebrow. Yes, while meteorologists have been tracking the unpredictable paths of Hurricane Milton and its temperamental sibling, Hurricane Helene, they’ve also had to deal with a different kind of storm: death threats from people convinced they’re secretly part of a grand government plot to control the weather. And who’s helping to stir that pot? None other than Georgia’s own congresswoman, and former Geico caveman, Marjorie Taylor Greene.
Greene recently suggested that “they”—a shadowy, unspecified “they” that’s never fully defined but always blamed—are controlling hurricanes like Milton and Helene, turning natural chaos into a conspiracy smorgasbord. It’s like claiming your Alexa is secretly working for the CIA—it doesn’t hold up under scrutiny, but boy, does it catch on. Next thing you know, people are treating every wobble in a hurricane’s path like it’s proof of a weather conspiracy instead of, you know, basic atmospheric unpredictability.
Everyone keeps asking, “who is they?”
Well some of them are listed on NOAA, as well as most of the ways weather can be modified, because they are required to report it to the Secretary of Commerce by the Weather Modification Act of 1972.
The NOAA government website has a… pic.twitter.com/UaNZCiZ8es
— Marjorie Taylor Greene 🇺🇸 (@mtgreenee) October 9, 2024
Now, let’s pause for a second. Hurricanes are enormous, chaotic storms that can produce the energy of 10,000 nuclear bombs. Trying to control one is like trying to steer a runaway bull with a pool noodle—it’s just not happening. But of course, logic has never been the main ingredient in a good conspiracy theory. Instead, these theories spread across social media like wildfire, and suddenly meteorologists—people who usually just get yelled at when they predict rain on a wedding day—are getting bombarded with threats accusing them of being in on the scam .
Katie Nickolaou, a meteorologist with more patience than most, recently had to tweet, “Murdering meteorologists won’t stop hurricanes.” Picture that. This is a professional whose job it is to warn people about life-threatening storms, now having to explain that shooting the messenger won’t actually stop the rain. It’s like blaming your TV weatherman for the traffic on your commute .
Meanwhile, the folks at FEMA, whose actual job is to respond to disaster and keep people safe, have been forced to divert their attention from emergency response to debunking wild claims like “FEMA is using hurricane funds for secret projects.” It’s like expecting a firefighter to stop mid-rescue to explain that no, they aren’t setting the fires themselves. The agency has even had to set up a special website to address the most outlandish rumors, but as anyone who’s ever tried to convince a conspiracy theorist knows, facts are usually the last thing they want to hear .
And while these conspiracy theories might seem like harmless internet fun, they’re far from it. When people start believing that hurricanes are part of a secret government plot, they start ignoring evacuation orders or doubting the severity of the storms. It’s like someone pulling the batteries out of their smoke detector because they think the fire department just wants to control when they make toast. Real lives are on the line, and these theories make the job of first responders, meteorologists, and emergency services that much harder.
Social media, of course, has been the perfect breeding ground for this kind of misinformation. Thanks to platforms like X (formerly known as Twitter), a wild claim about “government weather control” can reach tens of thousands of people before the experts even finish their morning coffee. FEMA’s efforts to push back against these theories often get buried under a pile of retweets, as false stories spread faster than a puppy video. And once someone is down that rabbit hole, they’re harder to reach than the last loaf of bread before a storm hits .
At the end of the day, this wave of misinformation is less about hurricanes and more about a flood of distrust that’s been brewing for years. Meteorologists aren’t secret agents with access to a global weather remote—they’re the people standing in front of green screens, trying to help you avoid a soggy end. And if the folks who take two weeks to fill a pothole could actually control the weather, we’d all probably have more sunny weekends. So, give your local weatherperson a break—they’ve got enough wind to deal with.