Let’s give it up for Elon Musk, folks. This week’s recipient of the not-so-coveted Skidmark of the Week Award—an honor he’s probably adding to his LinkedIn as we speak. It takes real talent to call yourself a free speech absolutist while running a platform that silences one of your biggest fans. That’s right, Musk just smacked the mute button on far-right professional banshee Laura Loomer. Why? Because she dared to criticize Trump’s AI adviser pick. Apparently, freedom of speech ends when someone tweets something Elon didn’t approve during his morning soy latte. Bravo.
Here’s the deal: Loomer, whose entire personality is just a MAGA hat glued to a shrieking parrot, went off on President-elect Trump for picking an Indian-American tech executive as his AI guy. Musk—our big free speech daddy—responded by suspending her account, yanking her blue checkmark, and shutting down her subscription-based grift. Oops, I mean “service.” You can’t make this up. Musk’s platform literally tanked one of its own superfans because… what? Her free-market racism didn’t vibe with his free-speech hypocrisy?
So, just to recap: Elon’s idea of running a town square involves kicking people off the stage when their megaphone’s too loud. But hey, he left Kanye West’s account intact after all those anti-Semitic rants, so maybe he’s just saving bandwidth for the good hate speech.
You’ve gotta love the irony. Loomer’s out here torching immigrants while Elon’s out there trying to convince Silicon Valley that hiring them is great for the economy. It’s like watching two toddlers fight over a toy in a sandbox while the rest of us are just trying not to step on any landmines. Loomer’s followers were furious—at least the ones who haven’t been suspended yet—and they’re starting to see what the rest of us already knew: when Musk talks about free speech, he means his speech. The rest of us are lucky if we get subtitles.
And let’s not forget, this is the same guy who turned the blue checkmark from a symbol of authenticity into a neon sign screaming, “This account belongs to someone who thinks Bitcoin is a personality.” The EU even called him out for deceptive practices with those paid verification badges. Shocking, right? Elon Musk? Deceptive? Next, you’ll tell me the Tesla Cybertruck isn’t bulletproof.
So here we are. A platform that once claimed to be the town square of the internet now feels more like a poorly run HOA meeting where the loudest voices get fined for speaking out of turn. Loomer might be a monster, but this week’s real Frankenstein is the guy holding the keys to the server room. Congratulations, Elon. You’ve officially become the guy who says, “I believe in freedom,” while standing over the delete button like a Bond villain with a stress disorder.
In conclusion: Elon Musk, come on down and accept your Skidmark of the Week Award. You’ve earned it by making “free speech” on X look as reliable as a used Tesla. Just don’t expect a blue checkmark on the trophy—it costs extra.
