Have you ever noticed how adept Republicans are at taking one little thing a Democrat says, twisting it beyond recognition, and then plastering it all over conservative media like it’s the new Democratic Party manifesto that all of us believe? Whether it’s taking the position that Democrats don’t own any guns because some Democrats flat out hate them or that thousands of Haitians are hunting cats and dogs for food in the sleepy, otherwise peaceful town of Springfield, Ohio, on the basis of somebody making a race based accusation that somebody took too goddamn seriously, it seems there is no end to Republicans creating an entire ethos system based on something one person says add applying it to the masses.
Remember when Ketanji Brown Jackson was going through her Supreme Court confirmation hearings? Yeah, you probably do because we’ve been hearing about it ever since. So there she is, cool as a cucumber, sitting in front of the Senate Judiciary Committee, and Senator Marsha Blackburn—who’s clearly auditioning for the role of “Most Outrageous Soundbite”—asks her, “Can you define the word ‘woman?’”
Now, right off the bat, you know this is a trap, right? This is like walking into your high school reunion and being asked if you still have your yearbook photo taped to your fridge. You’re not gonna win this one. But Ketanji, being the smart, thoughtful legal mind that she is, gives a nuanced answer. She says, “I’m not a biologist.”
And boom—there it is! That’s all the Republicans needed. Forget the context, forget the actual point. They grabbed that sentence and ran with it like it’s the most damning thing since Watergate. You could almost hear the Fox News chyrons loading up, “DEMOCRATS DON’T KNOW WHAT A WOMAN IS!” Like, really? Really, guys? This is what you’re going with?
But here’s the thing, folks—they can’t help themselves! This is what they do. It’s the same move every single time. Take one thing, blow it out of proportion, twist it until it fits their little narrative, and then—here’s the kicker—apply it to EVERY Democrat. Suddenly, Ketanji Brown Jackson’s “I’m not a biologist” comment isn’t just her response in that moment, it’s now the official position of the entire Democratic Party. Because apparently, in Republican-land, we’re all one big hive mind, sitting around waiting for our marching orders from the “Democratic Overlord Council.”
“What’s our policy on gender today, comrades?”
“Let’s say we’re confused! That’ll really get ‘em!”
No, Republicans can’t imagine a world where people actually think for themselves, because they operate like a monolith. One Republican slips up, and it’s game over. If you don’t follow the script, you get cast out like you just asked to be paid in NFTs at a truck stop.
Look at what happens when one of them steps out of line. You remember Liz Cheney, right? Daughter of Darth Vader—I mean, Dick Cheney—super conservative, voted with Trump 90% of the time. But the second she says, “Hey, maybe we shouldn’t have an insurrection,” they toss her out like day-old bread! She’s gone! Stripped of her leadership position and, just like that, excommunicated.
Mitt Romney? Same thing. The guy voted to impeach Trump. Oh my God! How could he?! Cue the boos from the peanut gallery. Now Romney’s treated like the weird uncle at Thanksgiving who keeps bringing up cryptocurrency at the dinner table. He’s on his way out of the Senate because apparently, having a spine is no longer a valued skill in the GOP.
Lisa Murkowski? She dared—*dared*—to vote to confirm Ketanji Brown Jackson and support Trump’s impeachment after January 6. And what did the Alaska Republican Party do? They censured her! They gave her the political version of a timeout. It’s like, “Oh, sorry, you stepped out of line. Back to Siberia with you!”
So you see, Republicans are used to everyone walking in lockstep, marching to the beat of the same drum. It’s why they can’t process the fact that Democrats—get this—actually have differing opinions. I know, I know. Mind-blowing, right? They just can’t understand it.
But Democrats? Oh, we love a good internal debate. We are messy and we are proud! You’ve got progressives, centrists, moderates, and whatever Joe Manchin is—all going at it over healthcare, climate change, taxes. You name it. Hell, the 2020 primaries were basically the Wild West. Bernie Sanders and Joe Biden were duking it out like the Democratic Party was having its own personal Civil War. But guess what? We didn’t eat our own. We came together, eventually. We may bicker like siblings, but we don’t throw each other to the wolves.
Meanwhile, Republicans? They see one Democrat say something that doesn’t fit into their narrative, and suddenly it’s like, “Oh, they’re all like that! They don’t know what a woman is! It’s chaos over there!” They’re like your annoying coworker who hears you mispronounce one word and then goes around telling everyone you’re illiterate.
And now, over a year later, we’re still hearing about Ketanji Brown Jackson’s “I’m not a biologist” as if it’s some grand statement about the Democratic Party’s official stance on gender. They’re clinging to it because it’s easier than having a real conversation. You know, about actual problems. Like healthcare, education, climate change—stuff that matters to people’s lives.
But no. Instead, Republicans are stuck on this idea that every Democrat is walking around confused about basic biology. “Oh no, what is a woman? We’re so lost!” It’s ridiculous.
And why? Because they don’t understand that Democrats can disagree without imploding. We don’t need to walk in perfect lockstep to move forward. But Republicans? They see any deviation as a betrayal. One slip-up and it’s off to political Siberia with you.
So yeah, they take one comment, twist it beyond recognition, and apply it to the entire Democratic Party because they don’t know how to handle complexity. They need everything in black and white, simple and clean. They can’t deal with the fact that we’re a little messy over here—because messy means we’re thinking for ourselves. And maybe, just maybe, they should try that sometime.
