So, get this: Melania Trump’s about to be First Lady again, but there’s one teeny tiny thing—she doesn’t really want to live at the White House. Nope! Instead, she’s planning to hang out in New York and Mar-a-Lago, doing her own thing, while the rest of us expect her to at least pretend to be interested in this gig. Can you imagine? “Yeah, I’ll be First Lady again, but I just don’t think D.C. is my vibe.” I mean, come on! You’re about to be the First Lady of the United States—not the First Lady of Palm Beach Pilates.
Let’s be real. First Ladies are supposed to do things like, oh, I don’t know, live in the White House, show up to events, champion some causes, wave to kids at Easter egg rolls, that whole deal. But it looks like Melania’s got other priorities. First Lady? Sure! First-rate commitment? Not so much. I mean, even George Washington’s wife didn’t try to work out a part-time schedule, and she didn’t even want the job. Imagine being the First Lady of an entire country and treating it like it’s an optional book club meeting.
And the best part? We get to pay for it! That’s right, taxpayers will cover the cost of security for her many homes-away-from-home. New York, Mar-a-Lago, wherever she decides to pop in and out of. How much does this add up to? Millions. Millions of dollars so that Melania can avoid the White House as if it’s some weird Airbnb with bad reviews.
Now imagine any other First Lady—literally any of them—saying, “You know, I just think I’m going to split my time between my other homes, but I’ll totally Zoom in for, like, really big stuff.” It would be a national scandal! But here, it’s apparently par for the course because, hey, it’s Trump World, and the rules are just kind of… loose guidelines, you know?
So here we are, folks: Melania Trump, our new First Lady-in-absentia, popping in when she feels like it and charging us for the privilege. Because what’s the point of being First Lady if you can’t keep a little distance?
