Let’s talk about Laura Loomer for a second. You know, because there are piles of dog shit in Central Park right now that are feeling a little unappreciated, and I think it’s only fair to give one of them its due spotlight. This Trump sycophant and confidante recently crawled out of the gutter, fired up her Twitter, and launched a full-on attack on Pete and Chasten Buttigieg, managing to pull off the trifecta of being wrong, hateful, and incredibly, staggeringly stupid all at the same time. And I’m gonna break it down for you, bit by disgusting, festering bit.
First, she says—oh, and this is good—that Pete and Chasten are “psychologically abusing children” by depriving them of a mother’s touch. Oh, the irony! Imagine someone like Loomer, who couldn’t find a shred of psychological research if she was trapped in a library for a month, accusing someone ELSE of child abuse. Lady, the only thing abusive here is that you still have access to a public platform to say this garbage. She’s acting like Pete and Chasten are raising their kids in a Soviet gulag, instead of, you know, loving them, nurturing them, and providing them a stable, happy home. That’s not child abuse—that’s called good parenting. You should try it sometime! Well, actually, no, you probably shouldn’t. But you should shut up about it!
I know what we don’t need or want in the White House. Men like you who think it’s ok to psychologically abuse children by depriving them of maternal touch when they are babies, and mentally ill communist men like you and @PeteButtigieg who aren’t bad because you’re gay. I like… https://t.co/jxKnOQemLw pic.twitter.com/BP5IVaVPw3
— Laura Loomer (@LauraLoomer) October 17, 2024
Then she trots out this ancient myth that children need a mother and father to be happy and healthy. You know, like it’s 1950 again and we’re all still watching black-and-white TV shows where mom’s in the kitchen cooking up a pot roast while dad drinks a scotch and pretends to care about the kids. But guess what, Loomer? This isn’t your fantasy world. It’s 2024. And you know what actual science says? Same-sex couples are just as capable of raising well-adjusted kids as heterosexual ones. That’s not “fake science.” That’s just… science. It’s not that hard to grasp, unless, of course, you’re Laura Loomer and your brain cells are apparently playing a never-ending game of hide-and-seek.
And oh, she just can’t help herself—she brings out the big guns. “Communist.” Because, sure, when you’re losing an argument, just scream the word “communist” like it’s gonna win you some kind of moronic bingo game. What does this even mean anymore? Communism? Really? Are you still trapped in a 1950s Cold War fever dream? I’m half-expecting her to accuse Pete Buttigieg of being a witch next. Get with the times, Loomer! People like you throw out “communism” the same way you throw out facts—haphazardly, with no understanding of what you’re even talking about. Just take a seat before you sprain your frontal lobe.
Then—oh, God, this one’s a masterpiece of stupidity—she talks about breastfeeding. Yes, breastfeeding. She says men can’t breastfeed and then calls Pete a freak for “pushing fake science.” Okay, first of all, the fact that this is even a talking point is proof that the world has officially gone mad. But let’s humor her. Can men breastfeed? Well, technically, in rare cases, yes, men can produce milk. But here’s the thing: IT. DOESN’T. MATTER. It’s not about nipples, Loomer. It’s about love, care, and support. But of course, you wouldn’t know anything about that, because your idea of nurturing a child probably involves teaching them how to spew hate at strangers on the internet.
And then she calls for CPS—CPS!—to be called on Chasten Buttigieg because, and I quote, he’s “mimicking a child sucking on his nipple.” WHAT?! Are you okay, Loomer? Who hurt you? Where did you get this fixation on nipples? I mean, for God’s sake, if you think bonding with your child is cause for a CPS investigation, then I’m guessing your childhood was so loveless it makes “The Shining” look like a Hallmark movie.
But wait, we’re not done! We’ve got to talk about the finale. Her pièce de résistance: “Can men give birth and can men breastfeed?” And here’s where Loomer asks the dumbest rhetorical question of all time, like she’s some sort of twisted game show host. I mean, really. Can men give birth? Can men breastfeed? She acts like these questions are some sort of intellectual mic drop, like she’s just blown your mind with her brilliance. But no. What she’s done is just reveal her complete and utter ignorance.
Here’s the answer, Loomer: yes, trans men can give birth. Yes, some men can breastfeed. But here’s the thing—you don’t actually care about these answers. You’re not asking because you’re curious. You’re asking because you want to stir the pot, piss people off, and score points with the kind of crowd that gets confused by a washing machine.
You claim to like gay people because your brother’s gay? Really? Well, I don’t care if you have a gay brother, sister, or pet lizard. Just because you know someone in the LGBTQ+ community doesn’t give you a free pass to spew your bile all over the internet. You’re like the racist guy who says, “I can’t be racist! I have a Black friend!” It’s bullshit, Loomer, and we all see through it.
So, let’s call this what it is: this isn’t a debate. This isn’t politics. This is a sad, attention-hungry individual who’s using the same tired, bigoted tactics to stay relevant in a world that’s moving on without her. And you know what, Loomer? Good. Because your views are about as useful as a fart in a spacesuit.
