Alright, so imagine this: a bishop—yes, a woman of God, a literal shepherd of souls—gets up during a prayer service to say, “Hey, Mr. President, maybe don’t be so mean to people who are already having a rough time.” You know, like LGBTQ+ folks, immigrants, people who’ve already been through enough without waking up every morning wondering if their rights are getting repossessed. Pretty straightforward, right? Just a little sprinkle of mercy. A divine suggestion, if you will.
And how does our former reality TV host-in-chief respond? Does he take a moment to reflect? Does he say, “Gee, Bishop, you’re right. I’ll try to do better”? Oh no, no, no. This is Donald Trump we’re talking about. He jumps online faster than a teenager after a breakup and calls her… wait for it… “nasty.” Nasty! A bishop! The audacity. Honestly, this man would probably call Mother Teresa a “liberal loser” for feeding the poor.
But that’s not all. He didn’t stop at nasty. He went full Trump—called her sermon “boring” and said it was “uninspiring.” Excuse me, Donald, but you’re not exactly an expert on sermons. You’re the guy who once held a Bible upside down for a photo-op like he was posing with a menu he couldn’t read. Of course, you didn’t find her inspiring. Compassion isn’t really your vibe.
And then—because this is Trump and he’s allergic to humility—he demanded an apology. An apology! From the bishop. For asking him to be nice. You know, like that’s a normal thing to do. “Hey, Bishop, I didn’t like your tone when you asked me to stop being a jerk. You owe me an ‘I’m sorry.’” The ego on this guy is so big, I’m surprised it didn’t float away during his last rally.
But let me tell you, this bishop is not here for it. She said, “I’m not going to apologize.” And honestly, thank God for her. Literally. She’s out here preaching mercy and truth while Trump’s just mad the sermon wasn’t about his golf game. I don’t know about you, but I’m ready to start going to church just to see this woman roast him again.
Here’s the thing: when you’re so far gone that you think a bishop is out of line for asking you to be kind, maybe it’s time to take a little walk into the confessional. Or at least sit down and think about your life choices for five minutes. But we all know that’s not happening. Trump self-reflecting? That’s about as likely as him admitting his spray tan is really just cheese dust.
So there you have it. A man who thinks asking for mercy is an insult, demanding an apology from a woman who talks to God for a living. If irony could kill, this would be a mass casualty event.
