Ah, Banned Books Week 2024! It’s like the Oscars for censorship—only instead of golden statues, we get a depressing list of books that have offended someone’s delicate sensibilities. Libraries and bookstores across the country are now declaring themselves “book sanctuaries.” That’s right, folks, books need sanctuaries now. It’s like hiding endangered animals, but instead of rhinos, it’s The Catcher in the Rye. Next, we’ll be building secret tunnels to smuggle in copies of Charlotte’s Web.
Let’s talk about the absurdity here. We’re not cracking down on some underground, dangerous literary cartel. No, we’re going after To Kill a Mockingbird and 1984. Yes, Orwell’s critique of government overreach and propaganda is now on the chopping block—because apparently, it gives the wrong people ideas! Somewhere, Orwell is laughing and saying, “See, I told you so!” Meanwhile, The Very Hungry Caterpillar must be under investigation for gluttony and promoting unhealthy eating habits. Honestly, at this point, let’s just ban dictionaries because they contain all the words we’re not allowed to use anymore.
Let’s not forget history. Jon Stewart’s America (The Book) was once banned by libraries in Mississippi because of a satirical image of the Supreme Court. Yep, that’s where we draw the line: not at actual threats to society, but at comedy books! Sure, let’s shield the public from humor and ideas. That will definitely make society a more well-rounded place.
But this isn’t just about Jon Stewart. In 2024 alone, nearly 700 books, including children’s stories and celebrity bestsellers, were banned in places like Orange County, Florida. We’re talking about books that challenge our views on history, society, and human relationships. And some of these bans are so absurd, they make you question the sanity of the people calling the shots. You have to wonder if they’ve read the books at all or if they’re just throwing darts at a list and banning whatever they hit.
And the list of bans just keeps growing. PEN America recorded 3,362 instances of book bans in U.S. public school classrooms and libraries during the 2022-2023 school year alone. This isn’t just a concerned parent trying to “protect the children”; it’s a full-scale campaign to control information. They’re trying to make the world safe by removing anything that could possibly make someone uncomfortable, which is kind of like trying to make a roller coaster safe by removing all the twists, turns, and drops. Congratulations, you’ve now got a very boring train ride.
Here’s the irony: banning a book is the surest way to make people want to read it. Tell someone they can’t have something, and suddenly, it’s the hottest item in town. It’s the Streisand Effect on steroids. Ban The Catcher in the Rye, and next thing you know, every teenager is scrambling to get their hands on a copy. Censors, you have essentially become the world’s greatest book publicists. Well done!
So, how do we fight this madness? Simple: read. Support those “book sanctuaries.” Use them like the rebel bases they are. Share the banned books with everyone you know. And most importantly, laugh at the absurdity of this whole thing. Because in a world where the written word is treated as a threat, reading becomes the ultimate act of rebellion.
Banned Books Week is about more than just books; it’s about the freedom to think for ourselves. If the idea of people making choices about what they read makes you uncomfortable, then maybe it’s time for a long, hard look in the mirror.