Alright, let’s talk about the master of bad ideas—Donald J. Trump. This guy comes up with solutions so wild, you gotta wonder if he’s brainstorming with a bottle of bleach and a dartboard labeled “WORST IDEA EVER.” I mean, where do we even start with this dude?
Let’s go with the “One Day of Violence” plan. Yeah, that’s right. Trump gets up in front of a crowd in Erie, Pennsylvania, and says, “You know what’ll fix crime? One day of cops just beating the crap out of people.” One day of pure, unfiltered police brutality—problem solved. It’s like he thinks The Purge is a how-to guide. The man actually wants to give cops a hall pass to go full Mortal Kombat on the streets, and then, what, we just have a crime-free utopia the next day? Sure, Donnie, because nothing builds a peaceful society like turning law enforcement into a flash mob of taser-happy maniacs.
But wait, there’s more! You remember the California wildfires? Trump, in his infinite wisdom, said the solution was… raking the forest floors. Yeah, because clearly, the problem wasn’t climate change or decades of poor forest management—it was a lack of landscaping. Just grab a rake and clean that bad boy up! Meanwhile, California is burning down like a campfire gone wrong, and Trump’s out there like, “Where’s my leaf blower?” Finland, the country he claimed was doing this, looked around and was like, “Umm, yeah, we don’t rake our forests either.” This is peak Trump, folks.
And then there’s the Canadian Water Spigot. You didn’t think we were done, did you? No, Trump thought he could fix California’s drought by… wait for it… turning on a giant faucet in Canada. Like there’s some hidden garden hose up there we’ve just been too lazy to turn on. “Just twist the knob, and all of Canada’s water will flow into California,” he says. And what’s hilarious is that he probably thought he was a genius. Meanwhile, Canadians are scratching their heads like, “Uh, buddy, there’s no giant faucet.” And here’s Trump thinking he just solved water shortages with the same logic as a 4-year-old playing with a sprinkler.
Oh, but this is my all-time favorite—Trump wanted to nuke hurricanes. Yeah, you read that right. He’s sitting in the Oval Office one day, probably flipping through a disaster movie marathon, and he’s like, “Hey, why don’t we just drop a nuke in the middle of a hurricane? That’ll teach it!” Scientists had to actually come out and explain why turning a hurricane into a radioactive storm wasn’t the best idea. I mean, can you even imagine? “Sure, we stopped the hurricane, but now Miami’s glowing in the dark.” Genius.
And while we’re talking about Trump’s greatest hits, who could forget when he suggested injecting bleach to fight COVID-19? That’s right, he was standing there, live on national television, wondering out loud if maybe injecting disinfectant could, I dunno, clean up your lungs? Like we’re all just a bunch of countertops. I mean, the guy was one Tide Pod away from launching a national medical crisis. Even Clorox had to put out a statement saying, “Please, for the love of God, don’t do this.” You really can’t make this up.
Oh, and let’s not forget when Trump, the self-proclaimed man of the people, talked about how he wouldn’t pay overtime. That’s right. He flat-out said he’s too rich to care about overtime laws. “It’s a good business move,” he says. Yeah, because nothing says “protect the working class” like making sure people don’t get paid for their extra hours. This is the guy folks are looking to for working-class hero status? Sure, Donnie, you’ll protect the workers… just as long as you don’t have to pay them a dime extra.
So there you have it. From nuking hurricanes to raking forests, this guy’s ideas are so bad, they make flat-earthers seem reasonable.
When are we gonna stop taking this old man who yells at clouds so damn seriously?
