Alright, let’s dive into this tampon-in-the-men’s-room saga, because apparently, some folks out there are losing their collective minds over a little piece of cotton. Now, I get it—talking about tampons might make some of you guys squirm like you’ve been asked to watch “The Notebook” on repeat. But here we are, and it’s time to deal with it. So, let’s break this down, shall we?
First off, let’s get one thing straight: some men get periods. Yeah, I said it. Men. With periods. It’s 2024, people—time to catch up. These are trans men we’re talking about. They’re just trying to live their lives without being hassled, and let me tell you, going into the women’s room when you’re a dude, just because you need a tampon, is like walking into a bear trap with a raw steak in your pocket. You think a trans guy wants to stroll into the ladies’ room and deal with Karen giving him the stink eye? Hell no! And let’s not even get into what happens when some alpha bro spots him. Next thing you know, it’s WWE SmackDown in the tampon aisle.
Here’s a crazy idea: let’s make life easier for everyone and just stick a tampon dispenser in the men’s room. Boom—problem solved. No need for trans guys to risk getting their teeth knocked out just because they’re exercising their First Amendment right to free expression by having the audacity to live the way they want to live or, you know, using the frikken bathroom! What’s so hard to understand about that?
But, of course, there are always a few dudes out there who are clutching their pearls like they’ve just seen a ghost. “Men don’t get periods!” Yeah, Sherlock, we know. But here’s the thing: not everyone who uses the men’s room is a meathead with a lumberjack cock fetish. Some people who identify as and look to be men, menstruate, and having a tampon dispenser isn’t gonna turn the men’s room into some estrogen-soaked nightmare. You’re not gonna walk in there and suddenly feel the urge to watch a rom-com or start knitting. It’s just a box that dispenses cotton. Get over it.
And while we’re on the subject, let’s talk about dads and caregivers. You think they want to drag their kid into the women’s room just to grab a tampon? Nah. They’d rather do it in the men’s room, where they belong, without feeling like they’re breaking some unspoken rule of manhood. Come on, it’s 2024—dads are doing it all these days. They’re changing diapers, they’re making lunches, and guess what? They’re dealing with periods, too. So why not make it a little easier for them? They’ve got enough on their plates without having to run a tampon relay race.
But here’s the kicker, and this is where I really start to lose my patience: the guys who act like having a tampon dispenser in the bathroom is some kind of assault on their manhood. Are you kidding me? How much of a little beta sissy do you have to be to be scared of a tampon machine? It’s a box that dispenses tampons, not a portal to some parallel universe where your balls shrink every time you look at it. If it doesn’t apply to you, just ignore it. Simple, right? It’s like seeing a vegan section at the grocery store and not losing your mind because you’re a meat eater. Imagine if I went to the grocery store manager every time they stocked tofu. “Excuse me, why are you stocking this soy crap? I’m strictly a steak and potatoes guy!” You’d look like an idiot. So why freak out over a tampon dispenser?
And let’s not pretend these guys haven’t seen a tampon before. Unless you’ve been living under a rock or in some frat house where the only women you know are on posters, you’ve seen tampons. You’ve seen them in your mom’s bathroom, your girlfriend’s bathroom, maybe even your wife’s purse. And guess what? You survived! So why is it suddenly a big deal when you see a tampon machine in a public restroom? Because you want to make a deal out of nothing, that’s why. These are the same guys who’d whine like a schoolgirl every time the store stocks almond milk. “Oh no, they’ve got soy milk now—what’s happening to the world?” Give me a break.
At the end of the day, it’s just a tampon dispenser. If you don’t need it, don’t use it. Just like you don’t need to panic every time you see something you don’t personally use. We’ve got bigger things to worry about than a box of cotton in the bathroom. So let’s all grow up, put on our big boy pants, and move on with our lives. If that’s too much for you, maybe it’s time to do some serious soul-searching. Or better yet, find something else to freak out about.
This article originally appeared on X.
