Picture it: Italy, a land rich in history, brimming with pasta, art, and, yes, an exquisite tradition of sorting out its own affairs, thank you very much. Now imagine Elon Musk — Mr. Tesla, Mr. Mars, Mr. “Look, I’ve Got This Gigantic Space Rocket” — decides to wade in with a remark about Italian judges. Italian judges! The very people who’ve been donning ceremonial robes and wielding gavels with the kind of gravitas only Italy can muster, since approximately the year 1,300.
So, there’s this court case, right? Italy has cooked up a plan involving sending asylum seekers to Albania for processing, which, naturally, some Italian judges found a bit on the legally dubious side. They paused the whole thing, citing the teeny, tiny matter of human rights and national integrity. Cue Elon Musk. From the ivory heights of his own social media platform, he tweets, “These judges need to go.” Yes, indeed. An American billionaire telling Italy to sack its judiciary. That’s not a meddling tweet; that’s a plate of spaghetti thrown right at the wall of Italian sovereignty.
Enter Italian President Sergio Mattarella, the absolute epitome of quiet, simmering rage in a beautifully tailored suit. He releases a dignified statement — not a Twitter post, mind you, but an actual statement, because Italy still has class — declaring that Italy is “a great democratic country… that knows how to look after itself.” Translation: “Pipe down, Elon. You may know about rockets, but you don’t know jack about Rome.” And he wasn’t done. Mattarella, brimming with restrained fury, added, “Anyone… must respect sovereignty and cannot make it his business to give lessons.” Ah, Italian for, “Shut your pie hole.”
Of course, the Italian magistrates’ union then piled on. They were furious, livid, practically brandishing gavels at Musk. The head of the union described Musk’s comments as “naive at best.” As in, “Darling, we get it, you’re a billionaire, but please try not to be so embarrassingly out of touch.” And just to rub it in, opposition leaders started calling the whole thing “embarrassing” — and let’s be clear, being called embarrassing by Italian politicians is, well, as bad as it gets.
But here’s the real kicker. Musk’s own immigration history is, shall we say, colorful. There’s been chatter that he might have worked without proper authorization in the U.S. back in the ‘90s. He denies it, but the man’s now out here commenting on Italy’s immigration policies. It’s like being lectured on table manners by someone caught eating spaghetti with a spoon.
So, here we are, watching as Musk’s comments unravel like a chaotic opera, one ill-timed aria after another. Italian sovereignty, judicial independence, and a reminder — for all our sakes — that maybe, just maybe, foreign billionaires might steer clear of delivering lectures to 3,000-year-old cultures about how to run their courtrooms.
Bravo, Italy. Take a bow.
