You know, just when you think you’ve seen it all—when you think there are no more institutions left for this administration to punt into the sun—Trump wakes up and goes, “Hold my Diet Coke.” That’s right, folks, the White House has officially declared war on the Department of Education. Because apparently, the real problem in America isn’t, say, inflation or a global climate crisis—it’s second graders learning long division.
Here’s the plan: Trump wants to take the Department of Education, bundle it up in a little goodbye package, and chuck it into the dumpster behind Mar-a-Lago. He’s expected to sign an executive order that will start the process of shutting it down—step one, figure out how to kill it, and step two, make Congress sign the death certificate. And if Congress doesn’t? Well, we all know Trump’s policy on that: “Sad! Witch hunt! I don’t know her.”
Now, before we all start screaming into the void, let’s talk about what this actually means. The Department of Education isn’t just some government building full of bureaucrats playing Minesweeper. It’s the thing that, among other things, makes sure poor kids can afford school supplies, funds special education programs, and prevents states from doing fun things like segregating classrooms just because they feel like it. Little stuff like that.
Problem is, a lot of what the department does is required by law, meaning Congress would have to approve any plan to eliminate it. But that hasn’t stopped the Trump team from daydreaming. They want to take everything the Department of Education does and scatter it across other agencies, like a terrible game of government Jenga. Need funding for low-income schools? Ask the states! Need to investigate civil rights violations? That’s DOJ’s problem now—good luck with that! Special education protections? Well, that’s going to Health and Human Services, because nothing screams “we understand students with disabilities” like the people in charge of Medicaid billing.
Meanwhile, the National Education Association is out here like, “Uh, hi, this is a nightmare.” They’re warning that dismantling the department would gut funding for schools, increase class sizes, and make it even harder for kids in poor districts to get a decent education. Because, you know, if there’s one thing this country really needs, it’s more underpaid teachers Googling “how to crowdfund crayons.” (nea.org)
And why is this happening? Well, this whole idea comes straight out of Project 2025, which is basically a conservative fever dream where the federal government does nothing except lower taxes and make sure billionaires don’t get their feelings hurt. According to this plan, the Department of Education is the villain. Not, say, billionaires hoarding wealth like it’s a limited-edition Beanie Baby. Nope, the real problem in America is teachers and their pesky habit of educating children. (en.wikipedia.org)
So, what happens if this actually goes through? Well, for one, your kids’ schools could suddenly be getting their funding from the same people who brought you Florida’s “let’s ban history” initiative. Oh, and say goodbye to federal student loans—because if you can’t afford college, have you tried, I don’t know, just being rich?
Look, at the end of the day, we can all agree that the American education system isn’t perfect. But handing it over to the states with zero oversight is like saying, “You know what would make this bus ride better? If we removed the steering wheel.”
So buckle up, folks, because this fight is just getting started. And if the Department of Education really does get shut down? Well, I hope you all like YouTube tutorials, because that’s where we’re going to be sending our kids to school.
