(Or: How to Not Run a Government While Pretending That You Are)
Alright, let’s talk about DOGE—no, not the meme coin your uncle still thinks is gonna make him rich. I mean the Department of Government Efficiency, Trump’s scam to gut the federal workforce while handing the keys to Viceroy Elon Musk, who’s been going through the government like Leo DiCaprio choosing girlfriends who are inappropriately young for him.
And now—get this—they’ve finally named a “real” head of DOGE: Amy Gleason. Yeah. A healthcare IT expert. Because when I think “slashing government jobs like a machete through a rainforest,” I think electronic medical records.
So let’s be honest—she’s not running anything. She’s Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother—the guy whose job was literally to sign stuff and take the fall when it all went to hell. And if that’s not the play here, I’ll personally eat a Tesla door panel.
Elon Musk, the Viceroy of Chaos
Okay, let’s rewind. This entire operation was supposed to be Vivek Ramaswamy’s baby, right? But Vivek—who, let’s be real, has the energy of a guy who corners you at a wedding to explain Bitcoin—suddenly decided he’s gonna be governor of Ohio. A state that, if it has even one working brain cell left (it probably doesn’t), will never elect this guy to run a lemonade stand, let alone the whole state.
So DOGE is just… floating—like a busted-up SpaceX prototype. No official leader. No accountability. But somehow, Elon Musk is out here firing government workers like he’s downsizing a Walmart.
Oh, and the best part? Vladimir Putin’s Puppet Pseudo King, Adolf Trump won’t even admit Elon’s running it. He does that thing where he talks in circles—“Oh, he’s just advising, he’s just helping.” Yeah, okay, the way Tony Soprano was just a waste management consultant.
Because here’s how this works: when you’re an autocrat, you don’t put the real boss’s name on the door. You put it on Twitter while he live-tweets burning down the State Department like a kid frying ants with a magnifying glass.
So… Who the Hell is Amy Gleason?
Amy Gleason’s a sharp, well-respected woman. She’s not an idiot. But here’s where it gets weird.
She spent her career helping people manage their healthcare. She co-founded a company helping patients coordinate treatment. She’s not a corporate hatchet woman. She’s not a Wall Street ghoul. And she’s definitely not the type of person you bring in when you’re trying to “trim the fat” in government—unless you mean trimming people’s actual ability to get healthcare.
Oh, and one more thing—her daughter has a rare autoimmune disease. Which, I don’t have to tell you, is wildly expensive to treat. So let’s just say it would be one hell of a coincidence if someone in her position suddenly found themselves with access to some “helpful perks.”
I’m not saying it’s happening. I’m just saying you gotta ask the question.
The “Fall Guy” Playbook
If this all feels familiar, congratulations—you have functioning brain cells.
This is Corporate Corruption 101. The 2008 financial crisis? The bankers who caused it never saw a jail cell. Who did? Some middle manager who got hauled in front of Congress to “explain” things.
Or look at Barney Stinson. His job title was literally “Please.” As in, “Please sign here so we can pin this all on you later.”
This is what powerful people do when they need to do something sketchy. They don’t do it themselves. They don’t put their own name on the paperwork. They find someone trustworthy, respectable, well-meaning. Someone with good intentions.
And then they hang that person out to dry.
And right now? That person looks a whole lot like Amy Gleason.
So What’s the Play Here?
Let’s be clear—I’m not saying Amy Gleason took this job in exchange for anything. I’m not saying that.
I am saying this administration has a pattern. A history. A playbook. And if you’ve been paying attention, you know exactly what that playbook is.
So let’s ask some questions:
- Why did DOGE—one of the most powerful government-slashing operations in history—go leaderless for this long while Elon ran wild?
- Why is Trump so cagey about Elon’s role?
- And why does this not feel like a real leadership appointment, but rather a setup?
Because here’s the thing about fall guys: You don’t put them in charge when the plan is working. You put them in place when the ship is sinking.
And folks, I don’t know if you’ve noticed… but this ship feels like it is taking on a whole lot of water.
