Alright, let’s talk about Chile, because honey, they are in it right now. Imagine trying to give your country a full constitutional makeover, and halfway through, everyone’s like, “Nah, we’ll stick with the one we’ve had since before I was born.” It’s like they were all set for a Queer Eye glow-up, but then they looked in the mirror and went, “Actually, I think I’ll just keep my mullet.”
So, here’s what’s happening. Back in 2019, Chileans had enough. They were out there protesting like someone canceled their Netflix password—over inequality, corruption, and just general “I’m over this BS” vibes. And rightfully so, because their constitution is from the 1980s, written by a dictator. That’s right, their whole legal system was basically one big 80s throwback, like shoulder pads and Aqua Net, except no one was having any fun.
So, Chile decided to rewrite the constitution, and everyone thought, “Finally, we’re getting something fresh, progressive, maybe even with a splash of avocado toast!” The government worked on it like it was a Pinterest project gone wild—throwing in Indigenous rights, gender equality, climate change protections—the works. This was supposed to be the new it document, the Meghan Markle of constitutions.
But when it came time to vote on this beauty, the people of Chile looked at it and said, “Mmm, I don’t think so.” It was like showing up to a party in your hottest outfit and realizing everyone else is still in sweatpants. Chileans were basically like, “We wanted change, but not that much change.”
Now here’s the thing—Chile’s not the only country that needs a little constitutional Botox, but let’s be real: the U.S.? We are nowhere near ready for this kind of drama. We’re still over here trying to figure out why half the country believes in lizard people. You think we’re ready to sit down and have a calm discussion about rewriting the Constitution? Please. We can’t even agree on whether or not to wear masks in a pandemic.
So, here’s lesson number one from Chile: Don’t overwhelm people with too much change too fast. Chile tried to give their constitution a full-body makeover when what they really needed was just a light touch-up. Maybe start with something small, like fixing how you vote, before jumping into a full-on revolution. The U.S. could take notes here: let’s maybe agree on something basic like not letting Facebook ruin our elections before we go ripping up the Constitution.
Lesson number two: Timing is everything. Chile did this whole rewrite while everyone was still pissed off, which is like trying to have a serious relationship talk while someone’s throwing plates. In the U.S., if we ever even think about updating our Constitution, we need to make sure we’re not in the middle of one of our national meltdowns, which, honestly, is like every other Tuesday at this point.
And finally, lesson number three: Don’t try to make everyone happy. Chile tried to throw in everything—rights for everyone, save the environment, puppies for all—and it just overwhelmed people. In the U.S., we’ve gotta realize that you can’t fix everything in one shot. Let’s start by making Election Day a national holiday, or maybe, I don’t know, get rid of the Electoral College. Baby steps, people, baby steps.
So, while Chile is out here trying to figure out what the hell to do next, we should be watching and learning. Because when (and if) we ever decide to tackle our own constitutional issues, we’re gonna need all the help we can get. Just, you know, maybe wait until we’re done arguing over pineapple on pizza first.
