Alright folks, gather ‘round. It’s that time again. Time to hand out our not-so-coveted Skidmark of the Week award—the highest dishonor we can bestow on a walking embarrassment to humanity. And this week? Oh, it’s a doozy. Because Robert F. Kennedy Jr. opened his mouth, and what fell out was so vile, so ignorant, so offensively idiotic, it practically skidmarked the Constitution.
Let’s start with the fact that it’s Autism Acceptance Month. You know, the time of year we focus on inclusion, understanding, and reminding people that autistic individuals are, in fact, people. But not Bobby. No, no, no. This week, RFK Jr. got up in front of a mic, looked into the abyss of science and human decency, and said:
“Children with autism will never pay taxes, never hold a job, never go on a date.”
Jesus Christ, man. That’s not a diagnosis, that’s a cry for help. I haven’t heard someone sound that confidently wrong since Kanye decided he was a historian.
He also said autism “destroys families.” Which is interesting, considering he seems to be doing a pretty good job of that all by himself.
You’d think—you’d think—the head of Health and Human Services would’ve read at least one scientific study. Or maybe, I don’t know, talked to a single autistic person. But nope. Instead, he got all his information from that shady guy who sells supplements out of a van behind CVS.
Meanwhile, the Autism Society of America came out swinging, calling his statements “harmful, misleading, and unrealistic.” Translation? “Shut the hell up, Bob.”
And just when you think it can’t get more cringe—remember, RFK Jr.’s own aunt was Eunice Kennedy Shriver. You know, the woman who founded the Special Olympics? The one who spent her life proving that people with intellectual and developmental disabilities—including autistic folks—can and do thrive? Imagine having that legacy in your family and still choosing to be this level of ignorant. That’s like being born into a family of surgeons and deciding to open a Goop-themed leech spa.
Medical experts, of course, had to clean up his mess. Dr. Zachary Warren, an actual pediatric psychiatrist and autism researcher, gently reminded the world that autism isn’t some monolithic disease—it’s a spectrum, influenced by genetics, biology, environment. You know, science—that thing RFK Jr. uses mostly as a dartboard.
So to summarize: it’s Autism Acceptance Month, and this man—this man who oversees national health policy—stood up and said autistic people can’t date, can’t work, can’t live meaningful lives. That’s not just offensive. That’s aggressively dumb. That’s aggressively dangerous.
And for that? For smearing a vulnerable community with the intellectual equivalent of a flaming bag of dog shit? Robert F. Kennedy Jr., you are our Skidmark of the Week.
Take a bow, you absolute douche.
