Look, I don’t ask for much from the President of the United States. Really. I mean, sure, I’d love it if he knew how government works, or how to, I don’t know, read—but at a bare minimum, I think we can all agree that when the leader of the free world sits down with another world leader, he should at least pretend to know what he’s talking about.
But no. That’s too much to ask.
So there’s Trump, sitting next to French President Emmanuel Macron, doing his usual routine—you know, where he just makes up facts like he’s playing Mad Libs with reality. And he starts talking about how France and the rest of Europe are just loaning money to Ukraine. He actually says, and I quote, “They get their money back.”
Oh, really? That’s how it works?! We’re just running a rent-to-own program for war-torn countries now?
And then, like a weary high school teacher who’s just realized his student has been eating glue for years, Macron has to step in—in real time—and explain to the President
of the United States how money works.
Macron literally puts his hand on Trump’s arm, probably to stop himself from reaching for a bottle of wine right then and there, and goes, “No, in fact, to be frank, we paid 60% of the total effort. And it was through, like the U.S., loans, guarantees, grants, and we provided real money, to be clear.”
And you can see it on Macron’s face—this wasn’t the first time he’s had to do this. No, no. This was the face of a man who has had to sit through years of Trump confidently explaining things he just made up five seconds ago.
Now, I know what you’re thinking: “This is just Trump being Trump.” But here’s the thing—this is not normal. It’s not! World leaders don’t usually have to fact-check each other while they’re still sitting at the damn table.
Do you realize how humiliating this is? It’s like if you went to a fancy dinner party and right in the middle of the meal, your friend just starts licking the silverware and everyone has to pretend it’s fine. No, it’s not fine! You can’t just let him keep talking like this!
And the worst part? Trump wasn’t even lying in the usual way where he’s trying to trick people. No, this was one of those moments where you could see that he genuinely believed what he was saying. He thinks France is running a damn Warbucks Rewards Program for Ukraine.
I mean, what the hell does he think is happening? That Ukraine is gonna Venmo France in a few years like, “Hey man, thanks for the tanks, here’s your cash back. Also, do you take PayPal?”
And the bigger issue here—the part that should make every single one of us wake up in a cold sweat—is that Trump’s entire foreign policy seems to be based on not knowing how things work. This isn’t a one-time thing. This is a pattern.
This is the guy who said NATO members owe us money like they’re late on their rent.
This is the guy who told a gathering of world leaders that Belgium is a beautiful city.
This is the same guy who asked if we could nuke a hurricane.
So here we are. Once again. A major world leader—an ally—has to stop everything and explain to Donald Trump, like he’s a goddamn toddler at a lemonade stand, that money is real, bills have to be paid, and no, Europe is not getting a refund for helping Ukraine.
And you know what? The most infuriating part is, none of this will matter. Trump will walk out of that meeting, look straight into the cameras, and say, “France is making money off this war, folks! I just talked to Macron, he told me. They’re very smart over there, they’re great business people. Very, very smart.”
And the worst part? People will believe him. Because this is where we are now. The world has become one long, unskippable episode of a show nobody asked for.
So here’s what I need from you, America. I need you to care. I need you to wake up, pay attention, and stop letting this happen. Because if world leaders have to keep explaining basic reality to the President of the United States, pretty soon, we’re gonna need someone to explain reality to us.
And I don’t think Macron is gonna be available.
