So, imagine this: we’re at a critical crossroads in America’s health policy, and guess who’s trying to give us directions? Robert F. Kennedy Jr.! The guy who thinks “vaccines cause autism” is practically written on the tablets Moses brought down from the mountain. I mean, really? This is the man some people think should have a say in the health policies of the United States? That’s like putting your chain-smoking, Red Bull-chugging uncle in charge of a yoga retreat—it’s going to be a disaster, folks!
Kennedy has been spouting vaccine nonsense for so long he’s practically the human version of WebMD. You know, that site where you go in thinking you have a headache, and 10 minutes later you’re convinced you have a rare tropical disease? That’s him! This guy even wrote an article called “Deadly Immunity,” which turned out to be so full of errors that Salon retracted it like it was an Instagram post of a bad haircut. And even after they pulled it, he’s still out there yelling “Vaccines are dangerous!” like some guy on a street corner holding a sign that says “The End is Near!”
So now, Kennedy could end up in the administration with a say on public health. You know who’s concerned? The current CDC director. And let me tell you, the CDC director is not the kind of person who gets scared easily. They deal with pandemics, for crying out loud. But RFK Jr.? That’s their nightmare fuel right there. They’re afraid he’s going to influence policy with his galaxy-brain theories, and if that happens, our health policy is going to be like a bad episode of a reality show—chaotic, embarrassing, and everyone’s going to be fighting over who gave who the measles.
Let’s be real for a second. Imagine putting a conspiracy theorist in charge of health policy. What’s next? An anti-dentite as head of the American Dental Association? A flat-earther as head of NASA? We’ve come too far to let this happen, people. It took decades to build trust in public health, and the last thing we need is this guy shoving it down the drain like last night’s bad takeout.
But seriously, it’s on us to make some noise about this. Health policy should be based on science, not the late-night ramblings of the guy who thinks his uncle’s cousin’s friend’s neighbor got autism from a flu shot back in ‘93. If we’re not careful, the next health crisis might just be figuring out how to get rid of the guy who doesn’t think vaccines work. So let’s keep our health policies where they belong—in the hands of people who know what they’re talking about.
