Alright, let’s dig into this persistent fantasy that certain folks on X—formerly known as Twitter, because rebranding is apparently how you dodge accountability these days—love to push: that the United States was founded as a Christian nation. Now, this idea is like claiming the Avengers was just about Hulk’s anger management issues: technically, you could try to make that case, but you’d be ignoring all the actual content.
So here’s the claim: the Founding Fathers sat around a candlelit table, one hand drafting the Constitution, the other furiously thumping a Bible. It’s a cozy image, like a Norman Rockwell painting commissioned by Hobby Lobby. But let’s talk facts here, because history is not an all-you-can-eat buffet where you just pile on the mashed potatoes of confirmation bias.
Start with the Constitution. There is not a single mention of God, Jesus, or any religious denomination in there. Zip. Zilch. Nada. Which is odd if the Founders intended it to be the Christian instruction manual certain folks think it is. You’re more likely to find a clause about “thou shalt not wear wigs that make you look like a founding poodle” than any reference to divine authority.
Instead, we get the First Amendment—‘Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof.’ This is the Founders effectively saying, “Hey, you do you, just don’t drag the government into your Sunday potlucks and fire-and-brimstone bingo nights.” It’s not the sign of a Christian theocracy; it’s like when your parents drop you off at college and say, “We’re not checking your browser history anymore, but don’t make us regret this.”
And if you still need convincing, let’s fast-forward to 1797 when President John Adams and the Senate signed the Treaty of Tripoli. Now, I know, treaties aren’t exactly as sexy as some of the other stuff in history class—like all those cool battles where people didn’t shower for months—but this treaty explicitly says, ‘The government of the United States is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion.’ Not in any sense. They could not have been clearer if they added, “And if you still don’t get it, we’re sending Ben Franklin to give you a wedgie.”
But let’s talk about those Founding Fathers, because this is where the myth really starts to crack. These weren’t a bunch of guys reading from the same hymn book; they were more like a divine comedy roast with an open bar. You had Thomas Jefferson, who wasn’t just a Deist—he went full remix mode on the Bible, cutting out the miracles because he thought they were, and I quote, “nonsense.” You could call Jefferson the founding father of God’s Director’s Cut.
Then there’s John Adams, who was a Unitarian. Unitarianism is like Christianity without all the special effects—a minimalistic belief system that would probably look down on CGI in blockbuster faith stories. Ben Franklin? He’s quoted as saying, “I have found Christian dogma unintelligible,” which is basically an 18th-century way of saying, “I’m here for the social events and snacks, but your PowerPoint on sin is a bit much.”
George Washington? He was more of a “keep it vague” guy. He attended church but didn’t take communion and carefully avoided using the word “Jesus” in his public writings, which is impressive given how prolific he was. It’s like writing a novel without ever mentioning the main character.
And then there’s Thomas Paine, who wrote Common Sense, the pamphlet that practically gave birth to the revolution. This guy called organized religion a form of “tyranny.” Paine basically looked at the clergy of his day and said, “You guys are like those gym memberships that make it impossible to quit.”
Even James Madison, who gave us the Bill of Rights, once said that having any religious endorsement from the government would be the first step towards tyranny. And let’s be real—when a guy spends his life drafting a list of rights and tells you not to add religion to the mix, maybe take that advice seriously.
Now, if you still think the Founders meant for a holy nation, let’s call in Barack Obama—who for some reason became the guy everyone projects their political insecurities onto. In 2006, he pointed out, ‘Whatever we once were, we are no longer just a Christian nation; we are also a Jewish nation, a Muslim nation, a Buddhist nation, and a Hindu nation, and a nation of nonbelievers.’ Obama didn’t just drop the mic on that; he threw it, lit it on fire, and walked away. It’s almost like he was reading from a manual titled, How to Summon Internet Rage Mobs in One Simple Statement.
So look, this isn’t about hating religion or denying that faith played a role in people’s lives back then. It’s just about recognizing that the United States wasn’t designed as a Christian nation. The Founders knew what happened when you put religious zealots in charge—spoiler alert: it usually ends with someone getting burned at the stake or mandated to wear buckled hats. They didn’t want that here. They wanted something different: a place where all beliefs could coexist without the government getting involved in your eternal soul’s Yelp review.
So next time someone tells you we’re a “Christian nation,” just remind them: the Founding Fathers weren’t creating a Bible theme park. They were building a country—a messy, complicated, pluralistic experiment where you can believe in God, or Allah, or that you should’ve gotten that promotion at work because Janet clearly doesn’t even try. That’s the beauty of it. And if that isn’t clear enough, just remember: ‘Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof.’ Which is pretty unambiguous for a group of guys who thought a wooden set of dentures was cutting-edge technology.
