Okay, let’s talk about Elon Musk’s latest genius idea to make the internet even more horrifying than it already is. Picture this: you’re on X, formerly known as Twitter, just trying to exist, and someone—maybe your ex, maybe that creepy guy who still calls you “sweetheart” after you’ve blocked him six times—starts harassing you. You block them. Problem solved, right? Not anymore!
Musk thinks blocking “makes no sense.” He says, “Hey, let’s tweak that!” And by “tweak,” I mean, turn it into the digital equivalent of slamming your door shut, but still letting your stalker stare through the window while licking the glass. Welcome to 2024, where X is essentially saying, “You can’t touch me, but feel free to keep watching everything I do!”
I mean, why would we want a function that helps people stop harassment? Who needs boundaries? It’s like Elon Musk thinks free speech is the same as being forced to listen to your worst enemy’s mixtape for eternity. Newsflash: free speech doesn’t mean you get to shove your opinions down someone’s throat after they’ve literally blocked you. It’s about government censorship, not about giving creeps a front-row seat to your life.
Remember Taylor Lorenz? She’s a journalist who’s been harassed online to the point where people showed up at her house. Her house. Death threats. All because the internet is apparently filled with people who think that, in real life, when someone blocks you, the appropriate next step is to buy a plane ticket to their city. Well, Elon’s taking that to the next level by saying, “Yeah, sure, you blocked them, but they can still watch. It’s not harassment if they’re just looking, right?”
Spoiler: It is. And it’s creepy as hell.
And what happens if Musk’s brilliant idea blows up? X might get booted from the Apple Store and Google Play because, surprise, these companies have rules about user safety. But I guess Musk thinks his app should be above all that. Why? Engagement. Yeah, let’s keep the eyeballs glued to X—whether they’re invited or not! What could go wrong with letting trolls and stalkers stick around?
This is like locking your front door but Musk leaving the blinds up so everyone can still watch you dance around in your pajamas. It’s not free speech—it’s a stalker’s paradise. You know, for the “vibes.”
So, congrats, Elon! You’ve officially turned X into a twisted game of digital hide-and-seek where the creeps always win. Enjoy your brave new world of “free speech,” but don’t come crying to us when X becomes the internet’s most terrifying neighborhood.
